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Blah. Blah. Blah.

I hate when it rains for days, and all i wanna do is go out. I don't like wet weather lately.
It makes everything seem so blah!
All i wanna do is go home and wrap up in a warm blanket. Yet as crazy as it sounds im not too sure if i have a home.. Something i suppose i'll find out when i'm off work. It just makes me feel worthless that my own mother simply can't find it in her to believe me when i say i didnt do or take something that has either gone missing or has been out of her posession.
I find that these are the reasons that i left, and maybe these are the reasons i should stay living with nicole and mark. Drug house. broke asses. living off they're family and friends.
seems as though this is just a Lovely enviroment for myself to be in.
My sister tells me today she's going to do everything in her power to keep me out of 'her' house; and then hours later she finds herself short 60 dollars. I somehow doubt thats just a coincidence.. I doubt that my mother truly feels that it was me. i doubt that me going home is an option now. Thank-you angela. You win. I'm gone and i'll stay gone.

Its funny how you think that you know people. Family. friends. How you think that they care for you; respect you and love you.. When in all reality - they simply don't.
They could care less. Simple yet mind blowing i suppose.
This is all just meaningless words. Everything anyone has ever said to me; has been nothing but empty. Broken. meaningless words. So very intriguing how life seems to slap you in the
face no matter which way you turn.

I wanna crawl in a dark hole and reside there until my life comes to an end. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and cry till my body runs out of water. till my body runs out of everything. I get one week. One good. amazing. week. and then i'm right back to where i started. Getting shit on no matter where i go..
I suppose this is life.
but.. there doesn't seem to be a point to mine anymore.

Enough of this blah. Bull. Shit. I must get back to work.. Work. eat. breathe. sleep.


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May 2010
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